On leaving your world and carrying crosses - Tuum portans et mundus transit egrediens

I haven't been here in awhile. I haven't shared any thoughts lately but here it is: the very timely timing. I have written this a month ago when I was in the middle of some sort of crisis with people around me and yeah, well, myself. I wasn't given the chance to finish it and I can't even the remember the reason why. So yeah, I have been blabbering non-sense now. This is an open letter.

Dear Sir,

We all have our crosses. Well, you must know that to be true. Hindi mo pwedeng i-justify ang pagiging asshole or bitch mo sa ibang tao dahil lang sa may pinagdadaanan ka. The world doesn't revolve around you, remember that. Swerte ka na nga lang na may nagmamagandang loob pa na intindihin ka kahit hindi naman dapat. Swerte ka nalang nga na kahit may mga bagay na hindi niya dapat intindihin, iniintindi padin nya. Yes, this world is unfair - with all that bullshit and crap, but who are you to treat other people like they don't matter? Who are you to be so insensitive? Who are you to act that way?

It is hard to open yourself to other people when you have shut them down for so long. Yes, I have been there. I have done that. I have consciously shut other people out, not letting them have a piece of what I have to offer. But yeah, here you are. You invaded my solemn little world and I let you. I allowed myself to be vulnerable once again. I allowed myself to be open to the world that I once despised. It was you who tore down that wall that separates me from the world and my own. You showed me I can be part of something grander, but here you are, neglecting that very fact. Forgetting what you have done with my world in the first place.

I understand you every step of the way. I try to find a reason why you act the way you do. I try to make myself believe that you have your purpose. Being cold and being insensitive, letting your life pass by without anything to remind me that you thought of me? Well, I must say, you are taking me back to square one, sir. I am not really afraid to go back to my world - to shut myself out once again and never care. I could do that... anytime. It's just hard to understand why you and I have spent so much time making a chance when in the long run, you would just let me be this. Oo, marami kang dinadala (siguro). Oo, marami kang iniintindi sa buhay na mas importante kaysa sa akin, pero it doesn't really justify your actions. It will never justify anything.